Thank you Willow Creek Leadership Summit

Friday August 6, 2010 - Two years ago today my life changed forever at the Willowcreek Summit. I had just returned from Swaziland, Africa, feeling called to continue serving there but frustrated that the local people we had come to love seemed unwilling or unable to participate in their own solutions. Volunteerism was nearly non-existent. Instead they seemed dependent on us (and other western help) to address the complex problems they faced every day. I sensed that the help we offered was not really helpful, at least in a sustainable way, but didn’t know what to do differently.

I Will Not Trust in Princes . . .

I’ve never read that phrase from scripture the way I read it last week. Psalms 118:8-9: It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.

In the context of this passage, the Psalmist clearly is speaking about his own anguish, reminding himself as he penned these words that only God is faithful. He needed to remember God’s faithfulness in the face of terrible human opposition. He was crying out for deliverance.

I am so independent and self-confident. I may be (am often) tempted to rely on myself and my own resourcefulness to solve my [perceived] problems, rather than relying on the Lord. This is how I’ve been admonished by these words in the past. But I live in American and face nothing close to what the Psalmist would have experienced in his day in regard to opposition. And add to that, I’m generally a political conservative. I certainly might depend on my own resources and “good ole’ American ingenuity” to meet MY OWN needs and solve MY OWN problems. Heaven forbid that I rely on princes [read – the government or outside organization] to take care of me. That is welfare, right?

9/11 and Facebook

Today, like so many Americans, I am feeling a bit melancholy. I believe this is the correct word for today. Incarta Dictionary says it means “a thoughtful or gentle sadness.” This isn’t the same kind of sadness that engulfed us in 2001. On that day we felt anguish, horror, fury, many other feelings. [What did you feel that day?] In 2001 we were not able to go on with our day or even our week. We were stunned. We were sick. We couldn’t function. It took a while before we could get back to business as usual, but eventually we did.

Allegra-D

I take this drug to help me with allergies and sinus congestion. I’ve been taking it since 2006 and it costs me $25 per month, although the retail is $138. This is one of five different prescriptions I take to help me with sinus and respiratory problems, a retail total of nearly $1000 per month for which I have a co-pay of $25 each. This week, the day after writing the blog post below, I tried to fill my prescription for Allegra-D. The pharmacy clerk told me that my cost would be $67. I objected. “No” I said, “my co-pay is $25.” The clerk politely told me that this is the price my insurance company gave this time, and so I would need to take it up with my insurance company. I left in a huff (poor sales clerk). The next day I called my insurance company. After five futile minutes of attempting to persuade them that THEY had made a mistake and needed to call my pharmacy to rectify the problem, I learned that this drug was now in a new category. It used to be a formulary drug, covered in full by my insurance, and now, all of a sudden, is considered non-formulary, not covered in full – for any of a number of reasons – none of which mattered one bit to me. I complained to the insurance rep about my coverage. I complained about the money-hungry pharmaceutical companies. I told him (like it mattered) about how many different prescriptions I take and how I simply couldn’t afford to pay $67 for Allegra-D, even though within two fillings we will have met our annual out-of-pocket maximum and then will then pay NOTHING for any prescription for the rest of 2009.

When help isn't helpful

Last week a friend from blogsphere asked about Swaziland in an IM conversation. He said “what did you learn?” I told him that I’d learned tons and that I was going to blog about my learnings. I realize as I begin to do so that it will take more than one post to describe it all, mostly because it is still unfolding. I’ll start today with this one: SOMETIMES HELP ISN’T HELPFUL.

Before going on this last trip, during and since coming home, whenever my thoughts turn to Swaziland (which is very often), I have found myself in the middle of a tension. The tension looks something like this: